The appointment started with a follow up ultrasound after 6 months. The ultrasound specialist was very detailed and thorough.. which made me fallen asleep in between. She showed some concern, and she invited her senior to come in and look at the scan.
After some discussion they asked me to proceed with mammogram as there's 'something' which they wanted to be sure of..
Before mammogram, the other nurse told me of the possibility in doing a microscopic mammogram if this one couldn't capture enough details.
True enough, I had to do 2 types of mammograms. It gets me worried again. However, after all of the procedures, nurse informed me to go back and see the doc (which according to the appointment) 2 weeks later to review the scan results.
I thought if it's something urgent, I would be called even before the appointment. So there's a 50-50 wish that I'd be just fine at the end of the day.
15 July 2013
Doc H saw me with a little different behaviour on that day. He was telling me gently that a few lumps and lymph nodes area spotted with suspicious results on the right breast. I needed to go through a biopsy (extraction of tissues from the areas to be examined under a microscope) the very next day. Which Doc H mentioned he would like to know whether this thing was cancerous or not.
That 'cancerous' word certainly struck me. Told the husband and my mum-in-law in the evening about this. That I'd be on 2 days MC due to this procedure. They take it very positively and brushed it off with a remark like, "You'll be fine!"
A few colleagues were informed too as there was certain appointments and meetings which needed to be handed over. Everyone comforted me that it was just an SOP and this will be fine.
16 July 2013
So this was the biopsy day. Met a talkative biopsy surgeon and a chatty nurse, they made the procedure a little less tense. But I was still scared. I was trying to compare the intensity with birth-giving to distract myself. I think it's still far from birth giving, but this is more scary in a sense that I was wide-awake and listening to everything the doc and the nurses conversed, and the little stapler effect with loud sound, *snap snap* on the breast. Apparently that's the extraction of the tissue performed.
Phew~~ the whole procedure left me with cold sweat, sores on the breast and armpit (2 biopsies taken, 1 on the lump and the other 1 on the lymph node). Told to do light activities and not to bang myself on the area and not to carry anything on the right shoulder for that 2 days.
17–23 July 2013
It was a waiting game. The husband still could joke, "Thought in the HK drama, usually results will be out the next day and you would be called?" I returned an ignorance glance to him. As Dr H has confirmed an appointment on the 24 Jul, I should be waiting til then.
Deep inside I prepared myself for results should it turned positive. If it's negative I'd be jumping with joy and thanking the God. Should it be positive, I have talked to the God of Mercy to walk me through the tough time, that I would be fighting on, I would not be giving up, and I would just do whatever is necessary to recover.
There's this 70% instinct which told me that I could be positive. But the remaining 30% was also fighting to be acknowledged. I don't know who to talk to as the husband had to be posted overseas from 22–25 Jul for work.
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